Contrary to popular belief, drinking and flying do mix well.
Though I have long since graduated from University, I seem to find myself magically transported back to a highschool field-trip.
My wine-loving aunt decided to chaperone this trip, which actually turned out to be a nice, educational experience, in the beautiful setting of Venice, Italy. She introduced us to a special variety of wine that, when you drank it, did not so much intoxicate as it did create weightlessness. It took all my highschool chums acting as guinea pigs, then peer pressuring me, before I tried it, but my reluctance quickly turned to astonishment and delight once I did. Finishing the drink I found myself floating inches above where I was just standing still. With little effort, I soon was able to control my movement and, before long, was gliding effortlessly above the canals of Venice, like a teenage Peter Pan.
On the flight home, it dawned on me that the airlines actually use this to their advantage! Large commercial flights were only made possible by feeding this wine, mixed into all the beverages given out for free, to all the passengers. This had remained a well-kept secret, as people's weightlessness depended on their faith or ignorance in the drink, so in order to avoid hindering the flight with the added weight of skeptics and disbelievers, the airlines simply concealed the truth!
No sooner had I put two and two together, but the crew went into a panic, running without a word to their seats and strapping themselves in. I opened my window blind to see we were coming down beside a mountain, in what appeared to be a temperate rain forest of sorts. Obviously, an emergency landing and it wasn't Vancouver! Instead, we came down in the local airport of a tiny town.
I was uncertain as to why we landed so suddenly, though. We were greeted by what appeared to be a volunteer emergency crew of sorts. Each of them beamed with huge grins, excited they were finally using their training. But what were they trained for? On their backs they had huge tanks, with a spray hose leading to their hands. A circle of these volunteers surrounded the exit from the terminal and they sprayed each of us up and down as we tried to get past getting as little of this mysterious chemical on us as possible.
When I found out they were going to inject us with some unexplained inoculation, next, I freaked out and ran away, through a nearby field ...
My wine-loving aunt decided to chaperone this trip, which actually turned out to be a nice, educational experience, in the beautiful setting of Venice, Italy. She introduced us to a special variety of wine that, when you drank it, did not so much intoxicate as it did create weightlessness. It took all my highschool chums acting as guinea pigs, then peer pressuring me, before I tried it, but my reluctance quickly turned to astonishment and delight once I did. Finishing the drink I found myself floating inches above where I was just standing still. With little effort, I soon was able to control my movement and, before long, was gliding effortlessly above the canals of Venice, like a teenage Peter Pan.
On the flight home, it dawned on me that the airlines actually use this to their advantage! Large commercial flights were only made possible by feeding this wine, mixed into all the beverages given out for free, to all the passengers. This had remained a well-kept secret, as people's weightlessness depended on their faith or ignorance in the drink, so in order to avoid hindering the flight with the added weight of skeptics and disbelievers, the airlines simply concealed the truth!
No sooner had I put two and two together, but the crew went into a panic, running without a word to their seats and strapping themselves in. I opened my window blind to see we were coming down beside a mountain, in what appeared to be a temperate rain forest of sorts. Obviously, an emergency landing and it wasn't Vancouver! Instead, we came down in the local airport of a tiny town.
I was uncertain as to why we landed so suddenly, though. We were greeted by what appeared to be a volunteer emergency crew of sorts. Each of them beamed with huge grins, excited they were finally using their training. But what were they trained for? On their backs they had huge tanks, with a spray hose leading to their hands. A circle of these volunteers surrounded the exit from the terminal and they sprayed each of us up and down as we tried to get past getting as little of this mysterious chemical on us as possible.
When I found out they were going to inject us with some unexplained inoculation, next, I freaked out and ran away, through a nearby field ...
posted by this Dreamer at 7:27 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home